Whenever I tell someone that I’m going to Russia, they ask why. It seems that I never do a satisfactory job of explaining it so I was going to post an answer here. I wrote for an hour and ended up deleting everything. I can’t explain in words why I’m going but can only tell you that it’s not a matter of wanting to go. I’m not going to Russia to see museums or visit people or anything like that. I don’t necessarily want or expect to meet great friends or the love of my life. I’m going because I need to go. Because one of the last things I remember being really excited about was going on the trans-siberian across Russia. Because if I don’t do it now, I never will. Because there aren’t a lot of things that make me happy and I want to make sure that before my time is up I will have taken advantage of all the things that do. Because most of the things that make me happy have to do with someone else and Russia is one of the rare things that doesn’t have to do with anyone except me. Because like most 22 year olds, I don’t know myself as well as I’d like nor do I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Because I think everyone should be entirely miserable and face their greatest fears at least once in their life because hopefully it will make them that much stronger or determined or just happier in the long run. Because no matter how many ‘because’s I write, there will always be another ‘why’ and because I can’t answer why and that’s exactly why I must go. Because I don’t want to be the girl that always says she will or always complains or wants but never does anything about it. Because I expect more from myself than what I am now. Because I want time alone. Because I’m afraid of being alone. Because I don’t speak the language. Because I fear the cold. Because there is nothing but snow and thoughts. Because I just have to.
Maybe you still don’t know why I’m going but right now the only important thing is that I do. And that means something.
As your own personal broccoli lover, I would like nothing better than to share my green and leafies with you, and eat your red robin’s soup upon your return:) The dumplings and rolls and such should come in three varieties — meat, potato and cabbage. Miaso, kartoshka or kapysta. Good luck kiddo, choose yourself a good one!